Hello Again
by Phenixx
Summary: "I know what you want." "How could you possibly!" "I know how you can see him again." At this the male turned his head, ears perking at the other's offer. "How?"
1. Chapter 1

It was a dark night. A beyond dark night. The kind that appears in horror films, scary stories, a zombie apocalypse. The sky was pitch black, no light from the stars. The only light for miles was the occasional flash of lighting. The storm that rained down was ridiculous. Thunder boomed loud enough to shake the earth and knock you off your feet. Your person was instantly soaked within a few seconds of standing outside.

So, of course, I was soaked to the bone. My body had given up on trying to become warm again; it stopped shaking hours ago. The feeling in my lips are gone. My face, my fingers, my feet, even my legs; gone. All feeling has left.

But I refuse to move myself from my current location. I do not deserve the feeling of warmth and of comfort. I am not worthy of a peaceful night, wrapped up in the fimaliar comfort of my house under my covers, hidden away from the storm. I need nothing more than the silence of the cold night. Deserve nothing more than being frozen to the bone, sad and alone.

This gravestone in front of me is my reminder of all of that. The person below my feet, their body being wrapped in the warmth of the earth, the warm blanket of death, he doesn't deserve it. He deserves life, to brighten someone's day with his goofy smile, to light the way of others. He deserves to have this sorry excuse I call a life. He'd be able to turn it around and make everything right. Let me take his place, let me take his death away.

But his death is my fault, so why should I be worthy enough to have death. No, I deserve to continue living this sorry life, knowing I took the breath from the definition of innocence. I need nothing more than the thought of knowing he's no longer going to get hurt. That at least now, he's perfectly okay.

Though I can't shake my feelings of sadness, this overwhelming feeling of guilt that's been eating me from the inside out since that day. That day when everything went wrong, when he jumped in front of me and fell before me. If only I hadn't been frozen with shock, I would've been able to move him out of the way.

An almost deadly grip of pain wraps itself around my heart as the memory replays itself in my mind. The way everything happened in slow motion, the way the tears fell from his eyes. The loss of color in his cheeks, the smile that spread across his dying lips. He looked so happy, like he'd achieved something he always wanted in life.

Tears start pouring down my face, the salty water mixing with that of the rain. My body falls forward, my hands barely able to catch me as they hit the gravestone.

Huh, funny... I thought it'd be cold...

The concrete almost feels warm under my finger tips, like my being has become as cold as the tomb. My eyesight has started to blur, more so than with just the heavy rain. His name is right below me, only being hit by the water that runs off my nose.

"Why...? Why?"

It's harder to move now, all feeling completely gone. I can't even hold myself up anymore. My arms buckle, my head connecting with the grave in what I assume is a painful manor. I can't feel it, but I know I hit it pretty hard; there's a warm liquid that's mixing with the rain water and spreading on the ground. It's making it's way to my eye, taking my eyesight even more. A small noise, what you might call a laugh, forces it's way past my blue lips.

"Maybe now...I'll get to see you again..."

By this point I'm completely useless, and everything is impossible. I can feel the world starting to fade from my surroundings, and I can't feel the pain from the coldness anymore. My eyes start to close, there being no reason to keep them open anymore.

I never thought you could feel death, but I feel myself give up. I feel my body shut down, the blood starting to slow, my heart no longer working like it's suppose to. I can feel my brain start to quit, knowing there's no point. I can tell I'm almost gone.

But right before, I'm able to escape this hell of a life. Right before I'm able to smile again. I'm so close to seeing him again, that I can smell him, but right before I'm able to...

I feel myself wrapped in a warming embrace.

_"Not yet. It's not time..."_

My being starts to stir slightly, my eyes starting to wake up.

"S-Sora...?"


	2. Chapter 2

A giggle. The kind you hear in movies with all the little kids at the park. The kind that brightens up a room and casts the darkness away. The kind that can bring a smile to anyone's face and remind them what love is again. The kind you don't ever what to disappear, because that giggle is the definition of life itself.

It's his giggle. I can hear it so clearly, like he's sitting right beside me. Like he was never gone. But he's not beside me. I look around the empty space, but I don't see him.

My surrounds feel weird, like they're real but they're not there. Color doesn't exist, and there's no need to breath. I feel weightless, yet I'm glued to the earth.

There it is again; his giggle.

"Sora!" My body rises to a sitting up position, my eyes finally opening. There's a beeping machine next to me, the lights of the room dimmed, and an excruciating pain in my head. My hand goes to my bandaged head as I lay back down in my hospital bed, the saddening realization that he's not here starting to set in.

"So you finally woke up?"

I turn my head toward the sound of the voice, a new pain making it's presence known. I guess I make a face, for Kairi moves from the door frame to my bed, making it easier to look at her. She has a small smile on her red lips, but her face is full of what looks to be regret.

"Kairi-"

"Don't ever do that again." Tears start to form in her eyes, her hair falling from behind her ear to cover her face. I make the effort to raise my hand to tuck it behind her ear again, but she beats me to it. And instead grabs my hand with her own. "I thought I lost you too..."

At this I let my eyes fall from her face and look elsewhere. I don't say anything, though I know she wants me to. She wants me to say I'm sorry and I didn't mean to, but I know that's a lie. And though she won't admit it, she does too.

"How long was I out?" I figure a change of topic is best to stop the awkwardness from filling the air. Even if she is my best friend, things between us have been awkward since that day. We can no longer hang out like we use to, for more than the obvious reason. She feels she needs to protect me, checking up on me every couple of hours. And I know she just wants to make sure I'm okay, but I hate feeling like I'm a burden. Her life is already hard enough.

Kairi places her hand on my forehead, brushing my silver locks away from my face. Her small frame sits on the edge of my bed, the small smile never leaving her face. "About a week. The doctors said they feared you'd gone into a coma. What were you doing out there anyway?"

It's a routine question, just like the others she asks everyday. She knows the answer more than anyone.

"I had to see him."

She nods her head, a tear finally escaping and sliding down her cheek. Her smile finally fades, and I know she's about ready to burst. It's no surprise when she lays down on my chest, her hand squeezing mine. It's no surprise when I feel her cold tears through my thin hospital gown. I wrap my arms around her as best I can, knowing that even strong Kairi needs to cry every once in a while.

"I thought I lost you, Riku. When we got in that argument... I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it... I thought you'd go see him, but I didn't think you would stay out when it started storming... I'm such an idiot... I should've gone after you..."

The argument. The one that caused me to go see Sora, just like I always do when I need comfort. The argument where Kairi and I went all out, and she didn't hold back like she normally did. It started out like our normal fights, where she mentions me going to get help. Where she mentions that I need to let him go and move on with my life, where I'm not the only one that lost him. And part of me agrees with her, but I'll never do it.

I had my same comebacks. That his death was my fault and I didn't deserve to be happy because of it. That she didn't need to worry about me. That being in a mental home would keep me from seeing Sora whenever I wanted, more like need to.

We were yelling for hours before Kairi's anger got the best of her. She started complaining how she was always worried about me and her life was already stressful enough. That she did have a life and she couldn't afford to give up on it like I had. By this point I was just waving her off, till I started to get irritated. It's like she was blaming my behavior on Sora, and I snapped.

I remember slapping her cheek and yelling at her to just leave me alone if I was such a bother. She had placed her hand on her cheek and turned away from me before she stated the words that had caused me to run out in need for Sora.

_ "He shouldn't have died for you."_

Even remembering the words now causes my chest to hurt and my arms loosen around Kairi. My eyes stare up at the ceiling, memory of that night playing over in my head. I was almost gone, I was almost dead. So why had I survived? Why did I?

_"Not yet. It's not time..."_

Had that been him? Was he the one that spoke to me, saved me? I don't understand why when I don't need to be alive anymore. I have no one else besides Kairi, but she has other friends. She has a whole life ahead of her, when I have nothing.

A knock at the door causes Kairi to lift herself off me, her hands wiping her tears away. She smiled, rising off of the bed and moving to sit in a chair. A doctor with long blonde hair walks into the room, a clipboard in his hand, and stops at the foot of my bed.

"Well, you've decided to wake up. Isn't this wonderful." His eyes flash from my monitors down to his clipboard as he writes stuff down. "Have you been having any memory issues? Do you feel any pain? Can you tell me your name?"

My eyelids flutter close slowly and are in no more of a hurry to open. I drag my dry tongue across my dry lips, looking to the table beside my bed to see if there was a glass of water. I try not to move my head to much as I reach out toward the glass. I'm thankful when Kairi helps me. Lifting my arm is so exhausting and I just want to sleep.

After my drink, my eyes focus back on the doctor in front of me. "My name is Riku, I can remember everything fine and my head hurts."

He jots some more stuff down on his board before he moves to the side of my bed, messing with one of the bags that hangs beside me. He mumbles something about upping my morphine before he starts to exit the room.

Kairi catches him before he leaves. She glances over her shoulder nervously at me before talking with him out in the hallway. I could care less about what she's talking about with him. The morphine has started to kick in, and I'm more exhausted than ever. The ceiling slowly starts to fade, everything becoming black.

-o-

My house feels so different now, so much more empty than normal. When I set my keys down, the clink echos through the empty house instead of being taken over by the sound of Kairi's footsteps. She finally let me come back home after spending a few days at her house. She wanted to keep watch, but I was starting to feel cramped.

My house has much less furniture than hers, and the walls are bare. The only picture I have in the house is currently covered, for I can't bare to look at it without having a break down.

I shuffle my feet across the hardwood floor toward the couch, plopping down on it and turning on the TV. I don't really watch it anymore, but I need some sort of noise to help distract me. I normally stare at the ceiling and remember better days.

Back when we would all come over to my house to play video games. When we would all go buy Chinese food and have movie marathons. When we would just be together just because we could be.

It hurts, knowing I'll never have that again. Knowing that things will never be the same, and I'll never be completely happy again.

The phone ringing tears me away from my thoughts. A small groan escapes me as I turn my head slowly toward the small table beside the couch, the phone on top of it buzzing away as if it had nothing better to do. I slowly reach over to pick it up, running my fingers over my eyebrows as I lean back.

"This is Riku."

"Hello, Riku. My name is Dr. Zexion. I was just calling to confirm our appointment for tomorrow at 3:00."

"Sorry, what?"

"Our appointment. I was told Dr. Vexen had spoken to you about this."

So that's what Kairi was talking to him about. Another groan makes itself heard as I lean forward, my elbows on my knees.

"Yeah, right, right. Where will this be again?"

"My office. Right across the street from City Hall. Room 202."

"Okay, thank you."

I hang up the phone before he's able to say anything else. I have half a mind to call Kairi about this, but I figure there really is no need. It won't hurt to go talk to someone. It's the least I can do for her after all, she's done so much for me.

I look up at the clock on the wall. Only 2:45. Kairi's at work for another fifteen minutes and I really have no where else to go. There's nothing to do at my house. I can't play video games anymore, I can't watch movies anymore. And I haven't touched Chinese food since the last night he stayed at my house. The night he confessed.

I still remember my reaction. How I thought nothing of it and I just pushed it aside like an idiot. I still remember how his face fell. I could see I had crushed something inside of him. How something inside me didn't feel right that night. I remember it all like it just happened. But this was months ago.

He's been gone for three months now, and I don't know how I'm suppose to survive another day without him.

I remember how the day afterward, he didn't sit as close to me on the couch. I didn't catch him staring at me with his goofy smile. That there was now a slight awkwardness between us when we were alone.

I didn't want any of that. I didn't like it at all.

I realized my feelings to late though. And before we were able to have our happy ending, he was taken from me.

I slam my hand down onto my glass table, trying to pull myself from my thoughts. I shouldn't be thinking about this. But all I want to do is cry. The table shatters under my hand, multiple pieces finding their way into my skin as the others fall onto the floor.

The blood that pours from my hand and onto the white rug doesn't pull an emotion from me. I simply just stare at it, pulling the glass out of the muscle. More blood starts to flow onto the floor.

"Fuck."

Kairi's sure to yell at me for this.

I don't even bother trying to stop the cut, just pick up the phone and hit Kairi's contact. She answers halfway through the second ring just like always. She never misses my phone calls anymore, always fearing I'll do stupid stuff.

Like smash my hand on my glass table.

"Riku, what's wrong?"

"I cut my hand."

"You WHAT? How? Where? How deep is it?"

"Relax. It's fine, I just need to know the location of the emergency kit." It was kinda sad how Kairi had grown to know my house more than me.

I could tell Kairi rolled her eyes by the way she sighed. "Just get some paper towels or something and apply pressure. I'm picking up a few things, I'll be over in a few."

"Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah." She hangs up the phone before I'm given the chance to.

I set the phone back in it's rightful place, my hand bleeding all over the floor, before I make my way to the kitchen. I rise it off in the sink before I wrap it in paper towels. I would try and clean the blood off the floor, but she's likely to yell at me for not doing it right.

She's the only reason my house is so clean now-a-days. I should really do something for her to show my gratitude.

I walk back over to the couch, sitting down in the same spot, waiting for the knockknock kn-knock thing Kairi always does before she just opens the door. It doesn't take long before she's making her way into my home, her heels on the hardwood floor disrupting the natural silence of the house. She's carrying groceries, yelling away on her phone.

I turn on the couch, watching her as she yells at someone named Phillip while placing the bags on the counter.

"Just get him here by tomorrow, we need this photo shoot. I gotta go." She hangs up the phone with a groan, walking down the hall without a glance in my direction. I hear cabinets opened and closed before she returns with the emergency kit. "Alright where is it?"

I unwrap my hand, the bleeding having slowed, lifting it up to show her. She takes a deep breath before she sits next to me on the couch, taking out disinfecting spray and some bandages. She looks so tired and frustrated. I nudge her knee with mine, hinting it's okay to talk.

And she goes to town.

"Why do models think it's okay to just blow off their jobs whenever they feel like it because they're famous? We're the ones that get their picture out there! This new kid is only, what, twenty two? And he thinks he's the BEST thing to every happen to my company! Like today, we had a shoot at noon and he doesn't show. We called his manager and guess where the kid was. ON THE OTHER HALF OF THE FUCKING COUNTRY!"

A small smile plays at my lips as she wraps my hand. We've been a lucky group of kids, but she works so hard, I think Kairi forgets sometimes that she's only twenty, me being only a year older. She's worked so hard since middle school and climbed the ladder easy at her job. With her being the boss, she refers to everyone she works with as kids.

When she's finished wrapping, I look over at the groceries she brought. "So, what do you want for dinner?"

"You can't cook with your hand like that."

"Relax. It'll be fine. Just take a load off and breathe."

She sighs as I make my way to the kitchen, but I can hear the smile in her voice as she speaks quietly. "Thanks Riku."

-o-

Well, this is the place. Might as well make the best of it.

I enter the office building five minutes before 3:00, quickly finding the room. Dr. Zexion is waiting for me when I open the door, a book in his hand. He's sitting with his legs crossed, at his desk in the corner of the room. He lifts his head up when he hears the door open, a small welcoming smile tugging at his thin lips.

"Riku, welcome. Please, have a seat wherever you like."

I nod my head, deciding to take a seat where I know I'll be most comfortable; the window seat. It's the farthest seat from the doctor, but I've always found comfort being next to windows.

"Well, your Doctor told me about what happened the night you were brought to the hospital. And I would like to get your side of the story. But first, how are you feeling?"

I shrug my shoulders, eyes focused out the window on the ground below. "I'm just fine."

"Mind what telling me what happened to your hand?"

I looked down at my hand, curling and uncurling my fingers. "I slammed it down on my table."

"Why's that Riku?"

"I was thinking about him again. And it just kinda happened."

"Who is 'him'?"

I shake my head, looking out of the window again. I turn my body, placing one foot in the window seat with me, bending my knee so my arm can wrap around it.

Dr. Zexion nods his head, rising out of his chair to place his book back on the bookshelf. "I see. Well, is there anything you would like me to know about you?"

I shrug my shoulders again. "I live alone, most of the time. Don't sleep that often for fear of dreaming. Spend most of my time at the graveyard. Kairi takes care of me. I don't do a whole lot of anything."

"Who is Kairi?"

"She's one of my best friends, the only friend I have left."

"Why do you fear dreaming?"

I sigh, starting to hate the constant question asking. But I'm doing this for Kairi. It's the least I can do to help put her mind to ease.

"I see him in my dreams. They start out good, but they always end the same."

"Right, right. Forgive me if I'm wrong, but, is this 'him' you're talking about the one you visit at the graveyard?"

I nod my head, watching the people walking down the street outside the window.

"So, what exactly happened at the graveyard that night?"

"I go see him for comfort. That night... I wanted to really see him. I felt myself dying. But something stopped me. I heard him calling out to me."

"The man that brought you to the hospital?"

I feel my eyebrows furrow, my body turning to face the other man in the man? What was he talking about? Didn't Kairi find me? Didn't she take me to the hospital?

"No, I heard Sora. Who took me to the hospital?"

* * *

_A/N: this chapter is much longer. I'm so proud of myself. This story was just kinda...born. I know where I'm going with it, but I don't have it like...mapped out. So updates will be pretty random. I hope someone finds this interesting. _


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